


Picking up the pieces

by stormwreath



Category: Gone Home
Genre: Coming Out, Dysfunctional Family, Family Secrets, Gen, Inner Dialogue, Morning After, Returning Home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 21:04:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7238446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormwreath/pseuds/stormwreath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story begins just where the game ended. Katie tries to process what she's learned about her family, and especially her sister.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Picking up the pieces

Kaitlin Greenbriar turned over the last page of her sister's journal, closed the book and flopped back in the chair.

"Oh, Sam, what have you _done_?"

She rubbed her temples tiredly. After the emotional rollercoaster of the last few hours, the fear and anger and relief had washed through her and left her empty. Sam was alive. She hadn't... she was alive. And had left a huge mess behind her for her sister to find, of course, which was absolutely typical but... time enough to worry about that in the morning.

Except, Katie realised, that morning was already almost here. She could now see the back walls of the attic, where the illumination from the table lamp didn't reach. It was a grey, washed-out kind of light filtering through the windows, but light all the same. The sun would be coming up soon. The storm must have blown itself out too, sometime during the night: she hadn't noticed it, being too focussed on reading the diary.

She stood up, and almost staggered and fell again as a wave of dizziness swept over her. When did she last sleep? Okay, she'd napped on the plane coming over, but her last proper sleep in a bed must have been... 30 hours ago? More? Less? Her brain was too foggy to calculate time zones. Sleep would be an excellent idea now.

On a whim she snagged Sam's journal and put it in her bag. Best not leave this lying around for ~~Mom and Dad~~ anyone to find. Then she tiredly made her way back down the attic towards the steps.

For a moment, the sleeping bag in the corner looked very tempting. She could just curl up there right now, fall straight asleep... Um. That was (she suddenly remembered) the place where her sister and this Lonnie girl would sneak away to... no. Katie was NOT going to sleep there. No way. Eww.

It wasn't that she was prejudiced (she told herself). Not at all, she prided herself on being very modern and open-minded. But Sam was her _sister_. She'd already discovered more than she'd ever wanted to know about the sex lives of her family, these last few hours, and she'd really rather not be reminded of it any more, thank you. She'd sleep in her own bed in her own room, for the first time in a year.

It was only when she'd climbed slowly and carefully down the attic stairs and was halfway along the corridor that she remembered: she didn't have her own room. Not anymore. Her old bedroom was back in Forest Grove. It was gone.

She stood in the doorway of what Sam's note had told her was supposed to be her new room and did her very best to blink back tears, It looked like a junkroom, empty and bare except for the boxes piled around. None of her familiar things were in sight: she assumed they were all still packed away in those boxes, but that was no comfort now. There was no place for her in this new house, nothing and nobody to welcome her home.

She wasn't going to cry, dammit. Not now.

Why hadn't they unpacked her stuff? They'd been in this house for almost a _year_. They moved in just three weeks after Katie left for Europe. She'd visited eight countries and they hadn't been able to unpack a few boxes? Okay, they'd apparently been having a few problems, been distracted by stuff, but _honestly_?

 She sighed. "Use my room" Sam's note had said. "I won't be needing it anymore". Which was a wonderful, reassuring thing to write on a note to your sister, Sam you little brat, when you've apparently disappeared in a creepy house full of locked doors in the middle of a thunderstorm... Katie sighed. She didn't want to, but she didn't seem to have much choice right now. She was too exhausted to think of alternatives.

Pyjamas. She'd need pyjamas. Her things were all packed away in boxes. She'd need to retrieve one of the pairs she'd brought back from Europe, out of her bags that she'd dumped on the porch when she first got here. That meant another trek downstairs.

She was getting really, really tired of this vast, rambling monstrosity of a mansion. The foyer alone seemed to be almost as big as their old house (she fought back the thought 'our _real_ house' with an effort). As she crossed it, the pre-dawn light was slowly pushing out the shadows, It seemed less ominous than when she first saw it, but no less huge.

 Her bags were still sitting where she'd left them on the porch. Which one had her pyjamas in? She forced herself to remember as sleep dragged at her thoughts. This one. She picked up the strap, marshalled her strength for a moment then heaved it over her shoulder. It definitely seemed to have got heavier. Leaning slightly to one side, she walked slowly back through the foyer, up the stairs (cautiously hanging onto the bannister, since she didn't trust her sense of balance right now) and back down the corridor to the room with the hazard warning sign on it. Sam's room.

She was too tired to bother with neatness. The bag was dumped in the middle of the floor, she pulled it open and started tossing out garments left and right until she reached the level where she'd packed her pyjamas. She had thee pairs: which was cleanest? She sniffed them experimentally. These ones. She tossed them onto the bed, then sat down and wearily started removing her shoes.

Once changed she made what she fervently hoped would be the last short trip of the night (day? It was pretty much day by now), out to the bathroom. (And how many bathrooms did this house even have? ) On her return she stumbled past the mess she'd left on the floor without even noticing it, flung back the covers — sending poor Steggy flying — and collapsed into the bed with a  grateful sigh. She was asleep in less than a minute,

Above her head, the fake stars shone softly for a while, then faded.

* * *

 

When she woke up, it took her a while for her even to realise where she was. She'd slept in a lot of different rooms over the past year, and this one was just as unfamiliar as the rest of them had been.

She checked her watch. Half past one in the afternoon: she'd slept in past lunchtime. As someone who had only recently stopped being a teenager, Katie wasn't entirely unfamiliar with this experience; and she even had an excuse this time. Jetlag! Disappearing families! Midnight adventures!

She should probably get up, she thought, and see if she could contact Mom and Dad. Or maybe Sam had come to her senses and come home again, with or without Lonnie — though no, if she had, she'd probably have barged in here and woken her up. Yes, she should get up.

Not yet though. It was just too nice here, in a proper bed, all soft and warm and cosy.  No need to get up yet. She wriggled around until she was lying on her back, looking up through the skylights at the clear blue sky, washed clean by the rain.

So, she thought to herself, let's process all this. My sister's run away from home. My parents are having an epic mid-life crisis and have gone off to some sort of adult version of summer camp. My sister seemed to have stolen a bunch of stuff from the house, and left me to explain it to Mom and Dad. Also, my sister's gay.

Did I know that? Sam seemed to think I would already know. Did I?

Considering the matter carefully, Katie was pretty sure she'd never actively  thought the words "lesbian" and "my sister" together in the same sentence before. It felt weird. But still, somehow she didn't feel any surprise. When she'd seen the photo of Lonnie pinned to the inside of Sam's locker, when she found that drawing of the heart down in the basement with "S+L" written on it, her immediate thought had been nothing more than, "Oh, okay, that's how it is?", followed shortly after by "Finally! Good for you, Sam."

Sam had always been eager to hear news about _Katie's_ boyfriends, but never really seemed interested in getting one of her own. Instead, she'd talk for ever about her closest female friends, about what they said, what they did, what they were like — at first, Katie had assumed that this Lonnie was just another of Sam's teenage BFF girl-crushes. Except they weren't 'girl'-crushes, were they? Just crushes. Or being in love.

Katie felt as if she'd been staring all her life at one of those Magic Eye pictures, just a random jumble of dots until suddenly it clicked and the picture came clearly into view: the picture that had been there all along, she just hadn't noticed it before.

So. My sister is gay, and she's run away with her girlfriend. Oh Sam. That's exactly the kind of melodramatic, over the top gesture you think is romantic, isn't it? Out on the road like Thelma and Louise, except hopefully with a different ending, please God. No thought for anything practical, like how you're going to live. Me, I saved my money, deferred college for two years, got a job to earn enough money for my Europe trip, and budgeted carefully. What do you do? Pile a bunch of stolen VCRs into your car and drive off into the blue.

Do you even know how and where to sell stuff like that? I don't. I wouldn't have a clue.  You're going to get yourself into trouble. _More_ trouble. Maybe you'll be arrested, and brought back here in handcuffs, and that's probably one of the better alternatives. Sam, you idiot. Why didn't you ask me for help? I would have helped you.

Katie wasn't exactly sure _how_ she would have helped – it's not like she had any money left – but she felt like she ought to do something. It was only then that she realised she didn't actually disapprove of Sam leaving. Just the _way_ she did it, so badly-planned and irresponsible, and leaving her sister behind to discover the mess.

But yeah, Sam was probably right to want to leave. Mom and Dad would _not_ be sympathetic. Dad would probably know exactly which verses to quote from the Bible, all about unnatural acts, wickedness and abomination. No way they would let Sam and Lonnie be together under their roof.

Heck, they'd given Katie enough hassle about her own relationships over the years, and _they'd_ all been with the opposite sex. She was fairly certain her parents assumed their elder daughter was still a virgin, even though she'd stopped being one of those three years and two boyfriends ago. Telling them was unthinkable: it just wasn't the sort of thing this family ever talked about. The Greenbriars had lots of secrets, even from each other. Well, apart from the two girls. Sam and Katie shared their secrets.... and Katie had certainly uncovered a lot of secrets, last night. She still wasn't sure if that was good or bad. It wasn't her fault, anyway; she had to find out what had happened. Okay, maybe she got a little... carried away by the thrill of discovery. Um. Something like that.

She sighed. Time to get up.

It took her a little while to sort herself out: get cleaned up, get dressed. For breakfast she ate that banana she'd rescued from inside the fridge last night before it turned black, then rummaged around for something to microwave for... lunch? Probably lunch. Given that she'd just woken up, but it was now past two o'clock in the afternoon, and to top it all she was still running on European time where it would be almost midnight, the right names for meals were getting a little hazy. All that mattered was that she was really, really hungry.

As she pushed her empty plate away, full at last, she wondered what to do next. The calendar on the wall implied that her parents would be back some time this evening, probably not for a good few hours yet. Practicality said she should unpack her bags, put her dirty clothes in the washing machine, try and sort out her bedroom. Use the time usefully. For that matter, perhaps she should start by retracing her steps from last night, and closing doors, turning off the lights, putting things back in cupboards. Making the place look less like a team of burglars had just run through it.

She wasn't in a very practical mood just now. She was dreading how she was going to explain all this to Mom and Dad. Should she even bother? Maybe it would be best not to tell them what she'd discovered, just stick to the bare facts.

Sam's gone.  I came home and the house was empty.

If I try and explain why Sam ran away – how she was running away from YOU and the way you were reacting to her relationship with Lonnie, it'll just cause an argument. I'll be caught up in it, if I try and defend you, Sam. They'll blame me for being a bad influence on you, I know they will, even thought I wasn't even _here_ all year. They'll say hurtful things about you, that I won't want to hear. But if I don't defend you, what kind of a bad sister would I be?

Maybe it's best if I keep quiet. This family has so many secrets already, what's one more?

She'd better sort the house out. Mom and Dad wouldn't believe she knew nothing about what had happened if they found every drawer open, papers and letters scattered around where Katie left them after reading them. Yes, better do that. One more secret to keep.

Katie opened her backpack – she'd got into the habit of never letting it get away from her side in the last year, since it had her passport and all her valuables inside. Even here back home she'd not taken it off all night, and had picked it up again in the morning. Inside it was Sam's diary, that she'd taken last night. A year's worth of handwritten letters to her sister. No secrets here. Sam had poured out her heart to Katie with frank, sometimes brutal honesty.

Katie was suddenly hit by a foreboding that she'd never see her sister again; that these letters would be the last she'd ever hear from her. No, that was silly,  She'd be back; at the least, she'd call home.

Through eyes that were suddenly watery, Katie flipped the journal open, to the last letter Sam wrote, the last line:

> _" I love you so much, Katie. I'll see you again. Someday."_

She blinked twice, hard. "You'd better, Samantha Greenbriar". Suddenly she desperately wanted to read all the letters again, in order, slowly this time. Take them in, Understand every nuance, try to reach through the words on paper to feel her sister's thoughts and emotions.

She stood up. Better make a start on getting the house tidy again. She'd begin in the foyer. But she carried Sam's journal in her hand as she walked there.

Setting her back to the closed front door, Katie looked slowly around the room. Trying to remember how she'd first found it, and what she'd have to change to make it neat again, as if she'd not rummaged through everything in it. There, over in the corner, that folder,. She needed to put it back how it was.

As she walked over, she opened Sam's journal, put the bookmark on the first letter, and began to read it again. Slowly, trying to understand, it was as if she could hear her sister's voice in her head as she read her words.

> _"Dear Katie  
>  So much has changed, even just since you've been away. We moved into this house. I'm at a new school..."_
> 
>  

 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by me wondering what could be the in-world justification for Katie hearing Sam's diary entries being read out as she explores the house. That gave me the last paragraph; the rest was back-filled in from there.


End file.
